life

 to ponder upon a star is like staring into the sky... or maybe the other way around idk dude

when thinking on a bed, i wonder, what is our purpose? to seek love? the meaning of life? fulfillment? what is fulfillment? what is max's sexuality? does he want me? how do we define satisfaction? is it obtainable?

sitting upon my porcelean throne i question the many wonders in life. Why must we question the meaning of life to begin with? Does it allow us to believe a greater purpose in ourselves, or are we merely seeking solace in the face of billions of stars larger than us. There must be some kind of answer to my questions. When did we embark on a journey of purpose? is that our purpose? to ponder our purpose? Why do i need 10 different subscriptions to watch movies, and why do none of them contain good movies?

And what of relationships? What pushes others to seek love while others cannot define friendship? What makes some incapable? Or some overly capable? What of our instincts, of all, allows us to feel so much misery, we commit suicide? What purpose? Why are we the only ones capable of such a feat? a harrowing feat?

What about tastes? Why do I like booty, but my bros love dudes? What causes others gravitation, and others repulsion? How would one go about downloading grindr without anyones knowledge, is there any hot twinks? Why do some have bad taste, and others good? what defines it, truly? if its someone good for you? what makes a double suicide good for you?

questions to ponder. how can we truly know this ponder is not a loop that all must go through. perhaps the greatest mindset is fuck it we ball.